When you know the sleep norms but your child still doesn’t sleep: why it happens

Many parents follow all the recommendations: a bedtime ritual, consistent routine, and a cozy environment. But the child might:

• whine or refuse to go to bed at the “right” time
• nap too long during the day and ruin nighttime sleep
• or, on the contrary, not fall asleep at all

And parents often don’t realize they’re doing anything wrong. In most cases, the issue is that the recommended sleep or wake times don’t match the child’s real, individual needs.

Recommendations from leading sleep research organizations are just ranges that most children fall into. The National Sleep Foundation states:

• 4–11 months: 12–15 hours of sleep per day
• 1–2 years: 11–14 hours
• 3–5 years: 10–13 hours

But these ranges are broad, and the same number of hours may be too little or too much depending on the child.

Note: there are no exact sleep norms by month. One child may need 12 hours at 4 months, while another may still require 15 hours at 11 months.

Using sleep/wake charts found online may lead to oversleeping or not enough sleep.

If a child sleeps more than needed during the day, they might be too energetic at night, causing stress for parents and directly affecting their sleep too.

Simply following a routine – fixed wake-up and bedtime – might not work. In the first 2–4 months of life, a baby’s circadian rhythm is just starting to form. They don’t have predictable activity periods, and their sleep is chaotic. That’s normal.

Trying to enforce a strict wake/sleep time this early can lead to sleep deprivation or overstimulation.

Sensory profile = key to comfort

• A child who’s sensitive to light and sound needs a quiet, dark environment
• An active, highly mobile child may sleep better if they get enough physical activity during the day – even if that means longer wake windows and shorter naps

What you can do right now:

1. Track your child’s sleep for one week
2. Compare it with the NSF range (4–11 mo: 12–15 hrs; 1–2 yrs: 11–14 hrs)
3. See where your child falls within the range: if near the minimum – reduce sensory stimulation during the day to prevent overtiredness; if near the maximum – adding a bit more daytime sleep might help
4. Adjust light, noise, and activity to create a sensory environment that fits your child
5. Observe when your child’s sleep seems most balanced and restful

Remember: routine and rituals are important tools – but real results depend on your child’s unique, individual needs.